Break Bread

Feeling my thoughts grow stronger, losing the ability to hold back any longer. It's a dagger I need to remove for all to be well it'd do best to behoove my desires to fight fire with fire. Ashes to ashes dust to dust we all return from where we came; no need to use false pretense or pass blame. I'm refraining with training- Being easy maintaining. I know all will be as it is- it's the  uneasy I can't dismiss. Gut check, is my plan set, won't see me sweat, don't forget I am blessed refreshed and covered in His blood shed. I break bread with the Creator, Maker,Alpha and Omega.  

Feelings are just that.

     As I held my daughters beautiful face between my palms, I said, " My job is to make sure I teach you how to be a grown up that has a beautiful heart, and if that means you are mad at me now, then I am ok with that. Your feelings will pass but my job doesn't change."
     Then I remember God wants to do the same with me. So I pose the question in my heart, "How often do I let my feelings get in the way of when He is teaching me a valuable life lesson?" *Gulp* All the time! This brings me to faith. Believing in the unseen. " Walking out on a limb" for God. It seems preposterous that our feelings would get in the way but they do!! It is where we allow ourselves to be swayed by the circumstances of our present.
     Faith requires that we set aside our feelings and replace it with God's word inscribed on our hearts. Feelings are like water in that they conform to the boundaries set around them. To be honest, the revelation that I don't have to let my feelings be my source of my motivation is real relief! Faith in God's perfect love and plan for our lives is  real and concrete. "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so".
    My challenge in the coming days is to commit more scripture to memory pertaining to Gods plan for me, for His love for me, His promises to me as His child. I heard Beth Moore on the radio and she was saying how important it is for our mental strength against attacks of the enemy to have memorized scripture for combat.
    Take your feelings and tell them what the Lord says you are. You FEEL weary and faint?  Isaiah 40:31b " They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Truth that can be used to free yourself from the trappings of feelings. FEEL afraid and helpless? Isaish 41:13 "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear, I will help you." FEELINGS are really just that, and they too shall pass.
   So find scriptures to build your faith and then tuck them into your heart for safe keeping. One day feelings will try and perauade you that you are something other than what God says and you'll be free to bypass them and learn the lesson instead.
   In those times it is when I am exchanging my "arsenal" for His. When he turns my scars to beauty marks and holds my hand as I become a woman of faith instead of feelings.
Love,
I am of the Resurrection

Bursting into flames

The concept of being a phoenix is quite an enthralling one until you consider the part where you burst into flames and burn to a pile of ash. The decent downwards as the heat inside begins to rise and the tongues of flames begin to lick about growing hotter... can you envision it? Excellent, now think about the worst moment of your life...*jeopardy music plays in the background* ... now you have a conceptual image you can apply.

Given a choice I would never, ever, ever "go down in flames" but we do not always have a choice in the matter. The truth of it is that in order to be a phoenix I MUST burn to ash in order to be reborn. Ugh, that uncomfortable mess of mess of dying to be reborn can't we just change instead? I think the real concept here that terrifies the most is: the free abandon it requires to allow yourself to burn. Pain is temporary. It will end. It's the choice to sacrifice the one thing you hold most dear-your WILL.

Jesus said, "...Thy kingdom come, Thy WILL BE DONE on earth as IT IS in heaven..." when teaching us how to approach the throne of the Father. It is the first request made to God after praising Him. HIS WILL ON EARTH. And in the garden as Jesus wept, "Not my will, but YOURS BE DONE." Even Jesus cried about having to die, it is only human. He was willing, and he died for me.

I see bursting into flames as the great decent! Emblazoned in the Glory of God as he falls beside me, always with me, reassuring me that the pain is temporary amd it will end. Exclaiming what joy He has in my WILLingness to join Him. His excitement at the coming resurrection of His beautiful phoenix. He holds my hand as we are bursting into flames.
Will you become a phoenix?
                 Love,
I am of the Resurrection

I am a Phoenix part 2

     This morning as I drove to the gym, sleepy and not really wanting to go do what I knew I was going to do...
   I turned on the radio to my favorite Contemporary Christian radio station and the words of the song flooded my soul: "Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me." He never runs out on me. Yesterday, I mentioned picking up some really bad vices along my road of will and determination and trust in my arsenal to keep me safe, one of those very useful tools was the ability to only care about me. In my world, people will always leave at some point, they weren't trustworthy,and I knew when it came down to it-I was the only one who wouldn't leave me.
So then, how do I rectify within myself to trust God when He says He will never leave me. Like you trust your father? Mine bailed. Like you trust your friends? Mine betrayed me. Like I trust myself? Even I let myself down. I don't have any references to draw from, and I think many of us feel this way. I think the typical Christian response is, " believe because the bible says so." Lame. Now before you stop reading....hear me out. If I don't believe my parents, my associates, or anyone else just because they say so, and if I require concrete evidence to believe : then the task set before just became extremely improbable.
I am a product of survival and tangibility, but that flooding of my soul as words of truth flowed deeply, I knew a reassurance of the Love of God. So He showed me what love feels like in my soul and in that knowledge I find truth. THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD THAT TRULY REFLECTS THE CHARACTER AND LOVE OF GOD EXCEPT GOD HIMSELF.
  That leads me to understanding that what I've been shown in this world is simply our attempt at being in His image, and that we do a poor job. I don't sit here claiming that I trust God like I am supposed to all the time, that's a lifetime journey. What I do know is that He will never run out on me.
So when has God used a moment to show you His love?

                       Love,
         I am of the Resurrection

I am a Phoenix.

   In this day and age the names we give our children often have very little to do with the meaning and more so with how it is spelled or what is trendy for that time. I am here to say there is power in a name. My father chose my name and whatever process he used, the power he put at my disposal is awesome. 
   Stacey means, "Of the Resurrection".For the past week I have spent quite a bit of time contemplating what that really means...especially last week over the Easter holiday. Jesus sacrificed his life and was resurrected on the third day. Common knowledge, I know. I am OF the resurrection so what does that mean? It means that I am paid for, bought, redeemed, a new creation in Christ. I have the power to die to my sin nature and be made new daily. The truth is that this is available to all who call on the NAME of Christ. I feel especially capable of doing this because my father chose to call me "of the resurrection." My identity has been one of survival...whatever form that took. I managed to pick up some really awful vices along my road of survival. For years I have tried to fight my own battles through sheer will and determination. I have an ample supply of battle ready equipment...we commonly call them by their names "defense mechanisms"...a quick tongue in case of verbal attack, the ability to puff my chest and appear larger than life in case my opponet is bigger than me. An arsenal of meanness, rudeness, ruthlessness, contempt, rage...you get the idea. I cant remember any other life. I have needed to be prepared to survive at any given moment. I am a warrior of life and I have scars to prove it.Ever so gently the Lord allowed me to realize that Jesus has scars too.They are because of me, my armor, my arsensl...they put the stripes on his back, the thorns in His skull, the nails in his wrists and feet, the spear in His side. I did this to the one who loved me first. Revelation of this nature tends to have a profound impact in our lives if we can accept our resonsibility. 
   The choice now is what I will do with this life altering conclusion. The good news is that though I signed his death sentence God revoked it. He resurrected Jesus. I am of the resurrection, all I  need do is claim the victory and stop fighting. Yes, I said it, stop fighting. Jesus has already won. The reality is He paid the price for my battles so that I don't have to, So why am I still collecting scars? His desire is for me to put on a new armor fashioned in His image and everytime I choose His armor over my own He takes another scar and makes it a beauty mark. He restores the soul as only He can because He paid the price for it. 
    So I challenge you to give God your imperfect worldly armor for His and live in victory instead of survival. Be a phoenix like me and become a new creation through Christ. 
                                Love,
                                    I am of the Resurrection